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Topic: End of Long Term Relationships |
431 replies
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Quote ( John Lewis @ May 1st 2012,22:37:34 ) i know. i also enjoy chatting with other managers. but not to the extent alot of people do.
I guess the world would be a better place if we were all like you then.
I'll pass though, if thats cool.
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Quote ( John Lewis @ May 1st 2012,22:37:34 ) i know. i also enjoy chatting with other managers. but not to the extent alot of people do.
Why don't you just ignore this (and similar) topics?
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Quote ( Keri Lovell @ May 1st 2012,22:40:52 ) I guess the world would be a better place if we were all like you then.
I'll pass though, if thats coo
?? did i say that? im just saying that relationship issues wouldnt be something you expect to see on a f1 managing site.
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sorry the off the topic...but:
This is imo better than facebook, there aren´t private grups (except Elite topic.....hehehe)
and we have only 3 games (a few more when the site is down) but they are a lot better than facebook games.
Edit; after all we have a lot more games here:
/gb/forum/ViewForum.asp?ForumId=19
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Yeah just block the whole off topic forum, one click, sorted :-)
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Quote ( John Lewis @ May 1st 2012,22:26:56 ) i thought gpro was a online racing managers site................
.................................it's become much more than that.
The world is full of people refusing to help others with their problems, and you're upset because you find people actually doing it in a place you don't expect?
Nevermind. As has been said, you have the ability to pick and choose which threads you read on the forum. Think of it as a large, fashionable yet reasonably-priced retail outlet.
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Quote ( Mattias Svensson @ April 30th 2012,20:20:49 ) she probably gave you a chance long ago that you failed.
I hope you have a saved game somewhere. Try re-load it from the point it went fine.
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Quote ( Erik Šindikov @ May 1st 2012,08:45:19 ) No you just find girlfriend and introduce her to gpro ;)
That is my case too, she's actually interested in F1 as I am in purses.
But she loves playing the game with me and we both respect the mutual interest and enjoy it allot. :D
Could be cause of GPRO but I like to think otherwise :P
It can tell allot about interest and loving another person when she's willing to know what do you enjoy in free time (and non-free time).
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Thanks for the supporting messages. And as for the others, many of them are right. I shouldn't have brought this to the GPRO forum. I shouldn't have spent 3000+ hours on GPRO in the years I did. Yes, I've got my flaws. Sure, I still love her and now realize that all my games faint to nothing now that I won't have her around anymore. Sure, there were times when she begged me for more attention. And of course I've been stupid as I kept having this on my to do list.
So I mostly have myself to blame for all this. But she on the other hand at least could have packed her bags, awaiting me on my arrival home to shock me and open my eyes instead of leaving while I was at work with just a stupid note left for me. And even more, instead of neglecting my calls and messages the days after, she could have tried to communicate and listen & talk to me.
Now if lately we wouldn't have had great moments anymore, then I would have understood it better. We even still had a couple of great days last month ! And 4 great vacations together the last two years. Which shows that when having time for each other, we were great. I know there should have been more time for each other in between as well. But I was working on that. She just lost patience. And I didn't know in time when to stop.
I even would have understood if I had driven her into the arms of someone else. I would understand if she would go for a new love instead of some kind of marriage that turned into routine. But according to her, it's not that. I now suggested to live apart for a while and then see what happens. I could prove her my good intentions. But somehow I don't think it'll help at all. So I better prepare myself to start living with the fact that my gaming addiction has drove her away for good. I could have realized this earlier. She could have made me realize it earlier or could decide not to end it so drastically.
The past can't be changed however, so I have to start looking forward now. First thing's first : learn how to live alone. And hold me on my plan to really cool down with the gaming. If not for her, then at least also for my own good. By the way, it's not that I've been constantly playing internet/computer/console games. It's mostly that I've been spending a lot of money on buying board games since about 2 years.
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And now that's off my chest, some quick reactions :
Quote ( Dubravko Romanic @ April 30th 2012,20:15:50 ) but to be serious, get some help.
Don't think I need help. I'm sane enough to understand it went too far. I just went on a bit too long.
Quote ( Pierre Goyette @ April 30th 2012,20:16:39 ) if she left you over a gaming habbit then it is time for you to find a new partner. Drinking, smoking, cheating, or something else that can cause a relationship to be pulled apart I can see.
Also more or less the way I see it. There could have been many worse things than a gaming addiction. Though every addiction can be destructive of course.
Quote ( Håkan Ferm @ May 1st 2012,02:28:29 ) with this and point like i was saying Gunther....
this is last chance for you with her it seems like and first thing you do is goto a gaming site for Advice?! - i am also sure this is not the only gamingsite you now have gone to....you see the red thread of it all?
I'm no longer around on GPRO for gaming, so I don't see this as a gaming site, just a community I know. I didn't share it on any other gamingsite, no.
Quote ( José Nunes @ April 30th 2012,20:19:29 ) Maybe that´s the problem. The answer must come from inside of you, not from the others opinions.
Oh, but it's more that this works as kind of a therapy for me. I of course knew I had to expect some hard reactions.
Quote ( Mattias Svensson @ April 30th 2012,20:20:49 ) Seems unfair, but she probably gave you a chance long ago that you failed. Im sorry about your situation, but take your time to think about it. Not the near past, but one or two years ago.
Very wise words, Mattias. She could have given me the benefit of the doubt. But she probably already did a couple of times.
Quote ( Gavin Paisley @ April 30th 2012,21:09:35 ) This thread is classic.
Glad to hear that it's bringing you laughter.
Quote ( John Lewis @ April 30th 2012,21:13:19 ) 3000+ hours on GPRO= 3000 hours you could have been spending with your girlfriend.
-> what Andrei said. I've mostly spent these hourse between 2006 & 2010.
Quote ( Mark Witney @ April 30th 2012,21:16:55 ) Sure you didn't see it coming???
Perhaps a while ago, but certainly not last two months. But it looks as if to me things were getting better for us, while to her worse. Perhaps because I had made up my mind that it was about enough starting to wrap up, while she of course can't look in my head.
Quote ( Jed Lilly @ April 30th 2012,21:17:19 ) Just my opinion but if I had split up with somebody then they posted about it on a public forum (that you don't even need to login to see) the only time I'd ever want to see them again would be when I was sticking a fork into their eye.
Oh, but she doesn't speak english, so no danger of losing my eye.
Besides, it's not that I'm breaking her down, am I ?
Quote ( Phil Maunder @ April 30th 2012,21:19:19 ) as much as the GPRO community will love talkin about this, you should be talking to her, or family/friends about this :D. not us layabouts!
Well, until a few hours ago, she was completely ignoring me. I sure wanted to talk to her, but she didn't let me.
Quote ( Keri Lovell @ April 30th 2012,21:20:29 ) I really dont agree with this. If she loves you, she wont make you choose.
You of course need to cope with the flaws of your partner. As long as the flaws aren't bigger than the assets. And I don't think it was. But yet again, she probably saw it different, as otherwise she wouldn't have left.
Quote ( Davi Freitas @ April 30th 2012,21:26:56 ) Maybe you´re not anymore the guy who she loved.
Yes, she said that. So that's why I probably will have to live with it. Love has to come from both sides. And if one side decides it's over, the other can't force it.
Quote ( Mark Witney @ April 30th 2012,21:28:11 ) I'm pretty sure Gunter is talking about entire evenings/days devoted to games probably to the point where she almost doesn't exist
No, then you see it wrong, my friend. It's not even daily shit. But enough to be problematic for her. While an other girl probably wouldn't bother this amount. But I should have taken into account how she felt about it, not how someone else might.
Quote ( Jeff Pumphrey @ April 30th 2012,21:42:38 ) Now, I won't pretend to play as many as you do, Gunter. But in the end, there are many worse things you could be doing with your time and money. If she can't love you for what you are, then you have the wrong person. Just a shame for you both it took so long to figure it out.
Yep, I begin to see that as well now. Though we could still have a future together, on the other hand it might also just be brave of her to make this step, for the sake of both of us. To be honest, I had thought about this as well from time to time. Not to actually make that step, though, as I always thought we could work things out so both of us would be happy, a balanced amount let's say. But maybe in the long run we will both become happier this way. Might be.
Quote ( Jeff Pumphrey @ April 30th 2012,21:42:38 ) Knowing you the little bit that I do, it seems like game playing is that which makes you happiest. Would be great if you had someone to share that with, but obviously this woman is not the one - and though she probably has tried - she's just not the right one.
I guess that hits the nail on the head. So a good reply to finish with.
Again, thanks for all the reactions. Though I mainly already jumped to the same conclusions, they've helped me a little bit more to overthink things.
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Quote ( Gunter Bosman @ May 2nd 2012,01:17:24 ) Also more or less the way I see it. There could have been many worse things than a gaming addiction. Though every addiction can be destructive of course.
One thing you should realize is that there are NEVER rational reason. Well, women saying this or that is the (rational) reason, but there never is one.
It has to do with how they feel and even if they really think those "rational reasons" are causing it, they are not. The feelings are subconscious and as I suggested already, it's firstly very interesting stuff to fiddle with psychology and it does help you.
Quote ( Gunter Bosman @ May 2nd 2012,01:17:24 ) Well, until a few hours ago, she was completely ignoring me. I sure wanted to talk to her, but she didn't let me.
And that's also a thing what I said earlier. You need to let her alone for a while even if you want to talk to her so badly (what I do understand). I'm not surprised that she was ignoring you tbh.
From the little I know, the only thing you can do right now is to leave her alone for a while. And if you then think that you still want her back, I'd say it's time for you to "understand" what it really was which caused this and only then and only if you want it for yourself you may have a chance to change that and maybe get her back.
But that's not sure of course and as I said I know only a little and it could be too late already and "bothering" her all time (although I do understand) after she was gone, certainly didn't help your case.
Nonetheless, I wish you all the best Gunter.
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Quote ( Gunter Bosman @ May 2nd 2012,01:17:24 )
And now that's off my chest, some quick reactions :
Quick?! :P
Gunter, respect is where it's due, but do you think telling an audience of thousands about every detail about your love life will help things?
What if she takes you back, looks on GPRO and sees hundreds (and even thousands) of people throwing their two cents into every detail of your relationship?
You must be hurting, and it's always like that, but to deal with it by yourself is the best way, at least until you're at your lowest point after all the anxiety of 'yes or no' is out of the way and it's no, then you request help, and probably from a close friend of psychologist or love counsellor or whatever.
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Whatever you do, don't be losing your dignity in the process.
I see friends go on the begging and stalking tour all the time, which (as expected) only has the opposite effect - to drive the other party further away. Like Chris said - give her some breathing space and better yet - show her that you CAN live alone. Meet up with friends and be a happy person. She won't like that ;)
You say that you have been together for a very long time - if I calculated correctly since you were 19. Usually I wouldn't be giving a 33 year old grown man any sort of advice if it had not been for this fact. I have been through a messy and painful end of a relationship with my first loved one. I made many many mistakes in trying to keep her from going. Instead of working on the cause, I was barely slowing down the effect.
That being said - life goes on, even if things don't work out. It sounds very cheesy and worn out, but it really does.
You close one door and open several new ones with the huge amount of time and freedom you gain from being "alone".
The fact that there are no kids involved (at least you mentioned none) makes it that much easier..
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Luke, she doesn't speak english. :P
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Quote ( Luke Frost @ May 2nd 2012,02:32:30 ) What if she takes you back, looks on GPRO and sees hundreds (and even thousands) of people throwing their two cents into every detail of your relationship? Quote ( Gunter Bosman @ May 2nd 2012,01:17:24 ) Oh, but she doesn't speak english, so no danger of losing my eye.
You do read very well frosty ;P...
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Quote ( Jonathan MacLean @ May 2nd 2012,02:34:20 ) You do read very well frosty ;P...
Translations aren't always 100% accurate, but they work well enough.
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Quote ( Luke Frost @ May 2nd 2012,02:38:06 ) Translations aren't always 100% accurate, but they work well enough
Yeah.. but She wouldn't know to look for if she was curious....
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Quote ( Jonathan MacLean @ May 2nd 2012,02:40:01 ) Yeah.. but She wouldn't know to look for if she was curious....
How come?
Gunter's name will appear, translator may be found. They're not very difficult to find you know..unless I misunderstood you....
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Quote ( Luke Frost @ May 2nd 2012,02:58:44 ) How come?
Gunter's name will appear, translator may be found. They're not very difficult to find you know..unless I misunderstood you....
I just find it highly unlikely she'll somehow stumble upon this thread.
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Quote ( Jonathan MacLean @ May 2nd 2012,03:01:29 ) I just find it highly unlikely she'll somehow stumble upon this thread.
Stumble? At the moment she just needs to google Gunter's name and it's on the front page.
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Did you miss the fact that she packed her bags?
You don't go stalking your ex on a foreign language game forum after doing that.. infact, I can bet 99,99% of all women worldwide never would.
And in the highly unlikely case that she does that - so what? Nothing wrong with asking for a word of advice. It's not like he is talking about their sex life and posting naked videos of her cooking Moules-frites...
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Quote ( Georg Petrov @ May 2nd 2012,03:23:27 ) Did you miss the fact that she packed her bags?
I´m just answering this:
Quote ( Jonathan MacLean @ May 2nd 2012,02:40:01 ) Yeah.. but She wouldn't know to look for if she was curious....
Quote ( Georg Petrov @ May 2nd 2012,03:23:27 ) ou don't go stalking your ex on a game forum after doing that.. infact, I can bet 99,99% of all women worldwide never would.
I´m sure you would lost that bet so. ;P
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Quote ( Davi Freitas @ May 2nd 2012,03:27:46 ) I´m just answering this:
I am not directly answering to you. The whole discussion is silly.
Quote ( Davi Freitas @ May 2nd 2012,03:27:46 ) I´m sure you would lost that bet so. ;P
I know. I put far too few 9s after the comma...
my GF stalks nearly all the profiles I have. I am yet to see a GPRO tab or entry in her history. ;)
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I think then, that's a definite argument for making the gpro forums private to those not logged in..
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Quote ( Georg Petrov @ May 2nd 2012,03:23:27 ) You don't go stalking your ex on a foreign language game forum after doing that.. infact, I can bet 99,99% of all women worldwide never would.
I can bet your thoughts are thinking in one angle...
Well, in one direction...
99.99% turned into 0.01% :P
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I would bet that a massive percentage of women would look up their ex boyfriends, even if it was the woman who left, They like gossip and they are nosy. Its in their nature. Even if it was just to see that you were falling apart.
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Quote ( Keri Lovell @ May 2nd 2012,03:58:04 ) would bet that a massive percentage of women would look up their ex boyfriends, even if it was the woman who left, They like gossip and they are nosy. Its in their nature.
yeah...*cough*...only women would do this...ahem...:p
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Quote ( Jonathan MacLean @ May 2nd 2012,03:30:56 ) I think then, that's a definite argument for making the gpro forums private to those not logged in..
Or just don't post things you wouldn't want the world to read.
Oh... Hrmph.
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