- Admins warn managers that "for the last time, WE WILL NOT BE CHANGING THE POINTS SYSTEM ANY. TIME. SOON. Get over it!"
- Managers start taking new flashy profile pictures as their Jaguar application still hasn't been rejected, so they will surely enter the team.
- Joachim Rang secured his 2nd title in Elite, after 5 races of him showing great display of speed and all the other managers seeming to just not care about winning.
A warning was put out, after hundreds and hundreds of new threads demanding a new points system, to the newly made F1 system in 2010, which is not even the most recent one. Admins said: "Please stop asking us to change the points system. If i got a nickle for every time someone asked for that, I would be millionare by now." Statistics show that managers spend more time asking for this than to figure out way to earn points in the current GPRO system.
Many new profile pictures were submitted to the GPRO servers recently, as managers have yet not seen their Jaguar applications denied, so they are obviously going to be picked. Jaguar says: "Whoever has the fanciest picture gets the spot.". We tried to interview one of their members, however after last week's interview to Roland Postle, no members of the Jaguar team accepted to have an interview for the News Site.
A new champion has arised last season, and he confirms now his second title as everyone else just doesn't care about winning. Joachim Rang is currently 19 points ahead of Yug Desai, second place, who says: "Winning? What the hell? I'm trying to relegate here, but this group is slower than Rookie, it's getting impossible to relegate really.". Experts report that it is easier to relegate from Rookie than to relegate from Elite at this point: "Like, seriously, I don't know if they realize they are supposed to win races."
In other news:
- Manager decides to go literally against the thread creation guidelines, which suggest we don't post threads with titles such as "Help!", by posting a thread with the title "Please, help". Admins and Mods were completely fine with this title.
- Chris's Shaw forum supremacy has ended, after having multiple threads responded to and thumbed up, he has now made one which nobody replied to. Experts said he "ran out of influence" and "oh boy he is about to get sent to the shadow realm of popularity"
- Drivers protest about low quality of life by simulating a random with the cause: "Driver felt unease in his helmet." Experts suggested various theories, but as usual, I know better.
And we are over for now. For an analysis on how to test with parts wear of over 90%, please stay tuned for next week!
May I remind you all that the official language of the forum is English? You can open a dedicated topic for Binary language discussion in the Foreign language forum (not joking) :)
Quote ( Vladimir Alexandrov @ April 12th 2021,09:22:43 )
May I remind you all that the official language of the forum is English? You can open a dedicated topic for Binary language discussion in the Foreign language forum (not joking) :)
How are the bots supposed to understand this high level language?
Quote ( Vladimir Alexandrov @ April 12th 2021,09:22:43 )
May I remind you all that the official language of the forum is English? You can open a dedicated topic for Binary language discussion in the Foreign language forum (not joking) :)
The messages are still in English, they're just written using a different alphabet. :)
- Admins urge robots to only post in binary in a foreign language forum specificly designed for that: everyone cheers them up but nobody follows the order
- French Kiss miss the memo that says: "keep a low profile this season" and go on to break the team points record in a single race 3 times in a row just for fun
- In this week, we acheived a new record for Admin posts, who finally realized that just because you are an all-mighty being that can erase anyone from existance, doesn't mean you cannot talk to the "plebs". People are flabbergasted by this event, and claim that "it has been far too long since i have seen those beautiful silver stars"
2 weeks ago, the GPRO News Site was the first thread to acknowledge the binary speakers, by interviewing Roland Postle, however, that seems to have been too much as other robots came to the thread and had a heated discussion, all in binary. GPRO Admin Vladimir reports that "for crying out loud, can you do that somewhere else? Trying to appreciate the news here!". People agreed and thumbed up the post, however, nobody could be bothered enough to actually go and follow the order of creating a specific thread for binary speakers.
Everyone is outraged as French Kiss break yet again the record of team points in a single race, and "honestly, it's not funny anymore, stop hacking, please.". Nobody ever thought that a team would be such an attention begger that they would resort to breaking the record 3 times in a row. Experts reckon this has only happened because Brabham, the clear favourite to win the team's championship, was handed a season ban from scoring points.
The stars have aligned and for the first time in 45 years, Admin Stefan [insert last name here] has posted more than once in a season, leading people to believe that "we are on to a blessing" and "oh yeah, this is the best moment ever, i feel blessed!". Everyone reports that "I will definitly talk about this day for days, months, centuries! My kids will be jealous of me!"
In other news:
- Credibility of the game is back... and it's gone again; unfortunately, no poem masterpieces were made this time around
- Managers get surprised at their machinery being able to not work properly even when brand new. Rookies report that: "even with the performance of all my parts being at that red 100%, i can't figure out why i am so slow... it seems that I'm even slower than wehn i had my parts at 0% performance!". Everyone facepalms, but they can't say anything, because FOBY is in place.
- The police is currently looking for GPRO managers who have hacked GPRO by having sponsors on their car. Managers not hacking report that "jesus christ, i only have 2 sponsors in my car and you are telling me some people have 5 and 3 more on hold? What are these hackers doing??? Can someone ban them already?". The GPRO News Site asked Roland Postle for a statement, but GPRO Admin Vladimir quickly shut that down, preventing another robot uprise.
Phew, that was intense! For more tips on how to spend your money in the most idiotic way possible, stay tuned for next week!
- Manager gets 11 thumbs downs from aliens after blaming them for 2 start accidents in 3 races. We managed to get an interview with said aliens which reported that: "It's disgraceful that we are being blamed for this. We are going to sue this english nuiscance!"
- The European Super League has been disbanded purely from the work of a thread being made in GPRO. Check the facts yourself: immediatly after the thread was created, clubs started thinking about leaving the league. Which makes sense, because GPRO threads are the most powerful thing in the world.
- Engine supplier GPRO'er warns managers that "WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE ENGINES. PLEASE. STOP. GETTING. THEM." The factory is at its limit as thousands and thousands of drivers keep switching engines before, after, and even during the Rafaela Oval race! Carnage is there, and the supplier is at its limit. One thing is certain: they are very rich.
An English manager, Sam Wilkinson, blamed aliens for a fellow GPRO manager's start accidents. This immediatly caused a backlash in the alien community, who held a press conference saying: "This kind of behaviour is just unacceptable. We can't have people blaming us of this stuff. We live on another planet for crying out loud, what else do you want??? We will be suing the heck out of him that's for goddamn sure. Prepare for an alien invasion!!!". The GPRO Crew already released a statement saying: "This happens every 2 years, not to worry, we will handle this diplomaticly. Don't start freaking out just yet.". Everyone is currently freaking out.
The European Super League has been disbanded by several clubs with the following note: "The GPRO community couldn't have been more clear: they don't want this. For that reason, we cancelled the ESL, we are just glad the GPRO community can guide us to do the right thing.". Not the first time this has happened, as the GPRO community was able to stop a massive tornado from occuring after convincing the Earth that humans aren't as evil as it thinks.
Crisis going on at GPRO'er, engine supplier for all managers in GPRO, as a new record of replaced engines is had, at several points over this last week. CEO says that "we are at our very limit, please stop ordering new engines, I beg you". The GPRO Crew laughs at their faces and prepares to line up 3 Oval races just to annoy the engine supplier. That should be fun.
In other news:
- Turns out everyone is an artist judging by the GPRO Podcast adverts that have been coming out. Managers report: "I too am a singer/play guitar/play drums/once dreamt about being Beyoncé." Statistics show that 105% of the GPRO Player Database is a professional musician, so good luck to Jun Ho to place adverts for them all.
- People keep complaining about randoms and technical issues, so much that managers are starting to request the Randoms Thread. Oh wait...
- Finally order is restored as no admin or mod seems to be bothering about the pleberians of the GPRO community. They finally restored their god status and they feel all-mighthy and capable of doing anything. An anonymous admin reported: "Oh, I'm going to ban so many people now, I'm feeling the power flowing through my veins!". Experts say that now is the right time to panic.
And that was another rough week for the militants of Rookie, who haven't seen daylight in days trying to figure out what fuel means. For more news on how GPRO is finally adopting corruption to the game, stay tuned for next week.
- Vladmin is finally back at his senses, finally bringing back unpredicatble weather. Surprisingly, nobody really complained about it, probably everyone who usually complains actually got good results out of that!
- Drama ensues at F1FG, where players expected a nice, calm, easy season, after being warned like 25 times that it would not be the case. They also managed to find the weirdest timings to leave the game, as our special reporter and host, Ricardo Antunes, reported: "Like, seriously, an hidden DOT with the start is not that severe but OOooOOoOOOooOOOo a link hidden in a very visible @ is enough for everyone to be outraged!"
- 2 Elite managers ramble about tyres and weather in fine fashion, and today we have an anonymous expert with us to analyse what was said in that argument, and debunking who gave the best insult of them all, which is what we want in the end of the day.
Finally returning from the ashes, Vladmin brings back the much wanted random weather feature, causing rain to pour down in Portimão nearly 10 laps before the end of the race, which didn't cause any backlash, since everyone who likes to complain about it had drivers with 250 Talent so they will surely be greatful about what happened there. We searched far and wide for complaints, but everyone kept reporting "how perfect the weather system is" and "I will never want this to change, perfection! The unpredictability of the weather is my favourite thing in the game!"
Drama comes back, this time in a forum game, where F1FG players riot against a host who warned them several times what that season would be. Players kept complaining and complaining, and at the easiest rounds to find the start, they cracked and left the competition. In a season which is perhaps the one with most dropouts in a long while, and in which races take almost 12 hours to finish because most participants placed the thread in the ignore list, this seems to be a slow, painful season for everyone, which has an estimated end at 2022, says the predictions.
At the weather thread, 2 Elite managers, Miel and Jasper, had a Goliath vs Goliath showdown to see who could produce the best roast while also complaining about what the other person is saying. Jasper dealt the first blow with "the only thing that's cheap is being jovial about extreme randomness when you're on the good end of it.", to which Miel responded with the unbeatable question "Salty much?", producing 4 thumbs up and placing himself on the edge of a win. Insults and arguments continued, however, it did seem that Miel won with his final blow of "Zip it wiseguy". To analyse that conversation we have an expert, who has the following to say: "I haven't seen such a great display of class insulting in years. You know, in these troubling times, people have not been very creative with their insults, but I couldn't be happier with this fight. Miel seems to have won the dispute, but Jasper should not be sad, because he had a great display of roasts as well. What a gentleman's match. Incredible."
In other news:
- MANAGER INJURES EVERYONES EARS BY SCREAMING VERY LOUD IN A THREAD. WITNESSES REPORT THAT "JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS TOO MUCH SCREAMING FOR ME TO HANDLE, I NEED TO GO TO AN HOSPITAL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE."
- Manager is in Paradise as he is able to create several threads with fairly common questions without being shot down by a season 10 player with a sniper. Witnesses report that "I already had my popcorn ready, and I am disappointed. No drama. At least the popcorn was good."
- Epic discussion about tyres, and you saw it right, TYRES, is had, where unfortunately 42 people (up to now) do not have 300iq and 170 others still have my hope to become a great contribution to the society. Hopefully those 42 people realize what they have done soon enough.
And that was yet another week of amazing news. For more completely unbiased news on HOW THAT IDIOT KEEPS BLOCKING ME, stay tuned until next week!
- Epic discussion about tyres, and you saw it right, TYRES, is had, where unfortunately 42 people (up to now) do not have 300iq and 170 others still have my hope to become a great contribution to the society. Hopefully those 42 people realize what they have done soon enough.
- Manager sees multiple suggestions of Safety Cars, DRS and Second Drivers be rejected over time... so he makes ONE thread for ALL of the above, basicly tripling his chances of succeeding! We will see how that went with our expert, who will tell us all about that thread!
- Holy music stops as a Rookie gets 10 thumbs up on his first 3 posts, a feat unseen before and on top of it when it was all bound to go wrong. Who the hell is that person and what they will say, is what we will cover today, in this GPRO News Site edition!
- A lot of hot laps are made in Barcelona, not because they were fast, but the track was at 57 DEGREES CELSIUS, melting everyone's cars which needed replacement halfway through he Barcelona race. The Stewards would have called a red flag, if they hadn't passed out in the middle of the race... More on that with a special interview to a GPRO Crew member, who decided to remain anonymous.
A brilliant idea came from a manager to combine all those little suggestions that have been denied, and explained, several times, and combined them into one super thread, almost expecting people to agree with it. Well he probably isn't very happy with the outcome, where not only did he got his dreams absolutely shattered, he also left with a staggering 26 downthumbs, surely a season record, which lets be honest, can still be broken. Much like the safety car suggestion!
Unseen scenes as a brand new fresh from the hoven manager comes into the forum scenes and BANG instant superstar! Altough the suggestion was a bit disputed (with it being the addition of a live qualifying screen viewer), the community decided that they would be benevolent with this one and kept it all clean, except one manager who decided that basicly his suggestions were more important than anyone else's so they should come first.!!! Either way, that thread turned out to be a thumbs up festival, which I'm sure the previous manager would have liked to take part in to recover from that deficit of his.
After a relativitly calm season the GPRO gods decided to finally screw us all up handing randoms after randoms, setting cars on fire for no reason, and induce extreme global warmin worldwide, starting with Spain. When asked about it, an anonymous GPRO Crew Member said: "Oh yeah we want you all to suffer as long as possible, we never got more than 30 managers with negative balance in a single rookie group, so we wanted to see how fun it would be for that to happen! Doing our best to make it a reality, don't worry!". Everyone panics as Monte Carlo can potentially feature a 200 degree weather, making it just a tad hotter than hell.
In other news:
- Manager asks for how to get more money in the mentor forum, however, he specificly asked Mike Bennett, which will be a bit awkward because his first move will be to spend $3.000.000 to enter a new team, hence losing even more money. Off to a bad start...
- Managers ask for "Other" option in gender, admins are badass and say NO, putting an "Unknown" option. Everyone roars and is mad at the same time, conflicted temperament which will only mean that someone in the future is going to make an angry thread stating how this new option is offensive.
- Everyone around the world mourn as they think the GPRO News Site is no more, but they forget one important detail: the writer has a goddamn life. Thousands of PM's sent asking for a GPRO News Site article, even DEMANDING ONE, and right when the writer is off the website. Weird.
And the good news is: the next GPRO News Site article will seem like it came faster! For more tips on how blow up Roland's tyres because we all want to see him in rookie, stay tuned for more next week!
Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ May 10th 2021,09:46:49 )
- Everyone around the world mourn as they think the GPRO News Site is no more, but they forget one important detail: the writer has a goddamn life. Thousands of PM's sent asking for a GPRO News Site article, even DEMANDING ONE, and right when the writer is off the website. Weird.
You put the top story in the bottom?
Also, where did you get that life from? Asking for a friend.
so was no complaining about raining too long , even when it says 0% chance of rain on second stint . as for my group everyone seems to get it right and fueled their cars with enough, it is either that or everyone is using ANALYZER which have no recorded data about rain in BARCELONA. so by chance it seems, the most of the groups get it right . i think that was the biggest story of the week.
so was no complaining about raining too long , even when it says 0% chance of rain on second stint .
No one complains because it is very clearly stated in the wiki
0% rain probability means you can be sure that it won't start raining during the period. If it is already raining, you can be sure that it will stop raining during the period, but you don't know when it will happen (it can stop after one minute or after 29 minutes).
so you have learned two lessons on this race: 1) How 0% probability of it starting to rain reflects on rain ending. 2) Don't put your full trust on An...
Quote ( Eduardo Sanchez Carenzo @ May 10th 2021,17:16:38 )
Quote ( Toni Kazanjyan @ May 10th 2021,15:26:05 )
2) Don't put your full trust on An...
meteorologists . by the way i did survive, cause i take no risk the longest it goes the better for me . but still very weird, and thanks for the explanation.
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