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Topic: Jaguar Racing Recruiting |
709 replies
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Part 2
Can you see the livery of our car
Its green, its green with our famous logo
Jaguar is leaping - very very frightening me
Jaguar, Jaguar
Jaguar, Jaguar
Jaguar livery - Best by far…
We are team Jaguar and nobody beats us
Not just a great team but a great family
Solving the game with our curiosity
Always fast watch us go, We love GPRO
Vladimir! Oh - We love GPRO - GPRO
Vladimir! - We love GPRO - GPRO
Vladimir! - We love GPRO - GPRO
We love GPRO - GPRO (Always)
We love GPRO - GPRO
We love GPRO - ooo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh -
Stefan Voggenreither, Voggenreither, Who we also thank for GPRO
Mr Shadow catches all DA's that he can see
he can see
he can see
So you think you can make it and aim high
So you think you have what it takes then apply
Oh maybe - Just think there always a maybe
It just needs a good app, Just a good app to get here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Teamwork only matters
Something we believe
Teamwork only matters - Teamwork only matters to us…..
Anyway the win goes…
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1330 days later. Another sequel to that human apocalypse zombie film. After years of thriving, the wretched affliction of real life is once again starting to take hold and has infected 3 of our own.
Whilst they have not yet turned. In an attempt at self-preservation we are forced to consider humane ways of dispatching them to ensure the affliction does not spread.
Even though they currently maintain a small fraction of their humanity we believe that by the end of this very season they will be gone. Becoming nothing more than a grotesque shell of their former self as their previous cognitive functions shut down. No longer able to budget, analyse, forecast or plan.
Instead they stumble out into the world with only their most basic of desires. Family, friends, work and life. Trapped in a cycle of monotonous life experiences away from the holy blue screen we worship that binds our community together and gives us hope and strength.
When we once again open up the doors to let the affected out I can’t help but question. Who is really trapped? One day everyone’s time will come. No-one is immune but for now we dig in and make the most of our fate. For this is the hand we are dealt and we are survivors.
The leavers curse opens up a window of opportunity. The Jaguar is changing once again. Gen3 is almost upon us and we reach out to you! Do you have what it takes to survive? Are you up for the fight? Can you help us rebuild a new age of prosperity?
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Please send your applications to any member of our team and try to impress us :)
For those of you who are serious the team you are joining isn't the current 18 trophy record breakers. We will be rebuilding with those who are in it for the long haul and to break more records. If you want to know who you will be replacing I will end with this for now.
"A Czech, a Swede and an Indian walk out of the Jaguar bar..."
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Quote ( Mattias Svensson @ February 9th 2013,09:12:17 ) Good stuff coming up soon, so stay tuned.
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We felt it was a good time to do a first round of Q & A about Jaguar recruitment. Enjoy!
Q: What are my chances to join Jaguar Racing? Should I apply?
A: Your chances are none if you do not apply. If you dare, apply and find out what happens! :D
Q: Is experience important in team's considerations?
A: If that experience, long or short, makes you feel Jaguar can be the team for you, then yes, it is important :)
Q: What is Jaguar looking for? Do I fit?
A: We already have a glorious past, so we want to build an even better future for next team generation. Tell us how you can contribute with that, if you believe you can.
Q: Is Jan as bald as he looks in the profile pics?
A: Yes he is. Whoever aspires to take his spot in the team shouldn't feel his capilar choices or reality are an impediment to apply.
Q: Who will test first now Mattias is leaving?
A: We are considering the other Swedish dude to do that. But we might reconsider after new members join.
Q: Do I need to use moustached emoticons to outstand, like Sho?
A: Hell no, we are finally getting rid of the monkey, let it be it!
Q: Will the leadership change in the team?
A: We do appreciate our LeederSheep, so we doubt that will change :)
Q: How many joke applications did you receive so far?
A: Counting the ones meant as a joke, or the ones we laughed of? :D
We at Jaguar Racing take your applications seriously enough not to laugh AT them. Sometimes we laugh WITH them :). Thank you pONA and DD Tank ;D
Q: Has anyone come up with a punch-line to the "A Czech, a Swede and an Indian walk out of the Jaguar bar..." joke yet?
A: No, and it's very disappointing!
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Tuesday December 06th somewhere in a tiny corner of cyberspace the Argentinian national anthem suddenly sounds...
https://s24.postimg.org/wl9sj24dh/Elite_S56_R6.png
Flo(w) joined Jaguar in season 30 with only 64 races under the belt. Back in season 43 she won her first Elite win and this was also Jaguars first of many to come.
Do you also share the same dream as us. Promote to Elite, Win a race in Elite, Win a  then you are very lucky as we will have an empty seat or two after the season reset.
We are not looking for the new RoRO, Flo or JaN00B. We are looking for you as we don't like copycats.
Jaguar has a long tradition to look for freshmen so if you have only completed a few races don't hesitate to send an application as this really doesn't matter as we can teach you what you need to know.
If you are somewhat experienced then don't hesitate either. If you have something special to offer then you could be the lucky one.
Feel free to ask whatever questions you may have to any of us. Same goes with the applications
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Tonight our dearest Roland Postle bought his ticket out of Jaguar, blocking the whole Elite field, including his beloved team mate speaking  , which means Jaguar is recruiting ;D
On a serious note, after Xmas holiday, we are re-taking recruitment discussion. If you have not sent your application yet, you are invited to do so and spam Roland's mailbox /NewMail.asp?IDM=323782.
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“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
If you feel the same way as Einstein then we are still recruiting.
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Quote ( Jan Velske @ February 2nd 2017,16:07:11 ) But you are 10 again? Alpo Kaakinen joined your team 1 week before that post? Do you have a second team?
No second team, we're still gradually recruiting our new generation. Shoaib's been trying to escape for a couple of seasons now but keeps losing the race for the door, so we're looking for someone with the right qualities to open it again and make him happy.
Please send all applications to Ignacio using the subject heading: "Your recruitment bumps are lazy I put so much more effort into my beautiful application, see?"
(Mod-edit: Added Jan's post in this one, since it is relevant to the first part of Roland's post.)
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“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
If you feel the same way as Einstein then we have just opened our recruitment.
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I like lazy bumping. Soooooo: BUMP!
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”Night gathers, and now a new watch begins. It shall not end until the next retirement. You shall take no randoms, hold no driver mistakes, father no start crashes. You shall spray champagne and win glory. You shall race and retire at your post. You are the manager in the office. You are the watcher on the pit walls. You are the shield that guards the realms of your finances. Will you pledge your time and commitment to Team Jaguar, for this Friday and all the Friday/Tuesdays to come.”
It is with sadness that Alpo has announced his decision to retire from GPRO. He has achieved everything possible with us. Firstly thanks to his raw abilities and passion but secondly due to the nurturing and support by our experienced and very knowledgeable team and forum.
It therefore means one other such individual out there has the same opportunity. Do you have the same untapped characteristics as the once “rookie” Alpo was. Or are you a proven manager with a burning desire for more such as our very own Paulo. On either ends of the scale both have won their first championships with us.
They are just 2 example of our teams recruitment success but are perfect models of who we are after. We believe we can spot the next champion among you.
So one person out there has an opportunity to prove to themselves and all of us that they are potential GPRO champions by joining the “The Greatest Team That Ever Was Or Will Be”. For “When you race the game of GPRO you win or you're not a Jaguar”.
If you are interested please apply to one of our team members. “Recruitment is coming”.
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Our baby Roland doesn't want to admit but he is clearly scared for being alone in Elite next season. We are already working on that issue. Meanwhile, if you think you can reach him faster than any of us then we appreciate your help.
Everyone knows we should do all to make kids happy, right? :P
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Argh it's true, I'm terrified. I've not been alone in a group since Pro. What if I can't retain Elite without the let-throughs? :S
So anyway, reading this topic you may be thinking to yourself.. "Jaguar Racing are recruiting but they have that fat pile of trophies, and they have those slick matching portrait borders even the mighty Edifice can't emulate properly, and everyone knows a Jaguar has the best bite strength to weight ratio of all the big cats which is absolutely no use in motor racing but still highly awesome. They're probably only looking for big name managers with Master or Elite experience who know the game inside out, surely I'm too noob to have any chance joining?"
This is a bit like how I felt before applying and fortunately someone set me straight. So let me set you straight today. Alpo, Nacho, Flo, and myself all joined as fresh-faced noobs with only around 200 races between us. If you have the temperament and potential that we're looking for then your experience and knowledge doesn't matter a bit. You can have a lot or a little. Either way try to tell us in your application about your plans and dreams in the game and how you will achieve them. Your past in GPRO is of interest, but your future is what we really care about.
Nacho-man still noobs it up regularly now, what more proof do you need that we'll consider any experience level? :)
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GPRO ain’t all sunshine and rainbows and promotions. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you at Amateur permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as GPRO. But it ain’t how hard you spend; it’s about how hard you can get sponsors, and keep moving forward. How much you can relegate, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what your driver is worth, then go out and get what its worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit and send an application to the Jags, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of Rolo, or Flo, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!” ~ Ignacio Balboa
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It's about time to announce the end of our recruitment.
As most of you already know, Harsh is our most recent member. Welcome and hope you enjoy the team. ;)
But that's not all... We will receive one more manager, in the next few races, to replace our most loyal Jag member. Time to say goodbye to Andreas and to thank him for all these seasons with us. :)
Last but not least, thanks a lot to all managers that took the time to write an app to us.
About the next Jag... It's a surprise. :P
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Quote ( Paulo Pinto @ August 13th 2019,23:12:09 ) Last but not least, thanks a lot to all managers that took the time to write an app to us.
About the next Jag... It's a surprise. :P
Surprise, surprise, I was the proud new jaguar member.
The sad thing for me is that we had to say goodbye to the team member that asked me the questions on my application. Paulo announced his decision to leave the game and as a consequense to leave the team. I would like to start off with thanking him for his passion, his capabilities and his knowledge he liked to share with all of us. He shared a whole lot of history with the Jags and he will be missed.
With every sad story, a new and lovely story could be written. So ladies and gentleman, we are recruiting again. As Flo mentioned to me in the chat, this time we know what we want. " Hopefully we recruit the anti Wouter ". Are you someone who doesn't like to moan? Then this could be your shot to join Jaguar and you could be our next valuable asset in the search for a trophy.
For everyone with any interest in joining our team, don't hesitate to get your application in and we will get back to everyone. Lots of people joined our team without that much experience in the game and in the higher tiers. What we are looking for in your application is some more information about yourself, your plans and most of all your dreams and how you think you will achieve them.
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A little story about a similar team to us known as the Fresh Team Jaguair.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62EjFgPECgo
Now, this is a story all about how
This team got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how we became the Fresh Team Jaguair
In season 12 established and raised
On the forums was where we spent most of our days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
Joking how we be the best team of them all
Then a couple of the guys who wanted to become good
Started collecting data round the neighbourhood
Created one little calc and the team declared
We be movin up' with whiskey & cigars to prove our flair
We raced and exceeded day after day
We packed our suit case and we were on our way
We broke top 10 first and that was the ticket
Put on our best season to win and said, 'We're gonna kick it'.
First in class, yo this is rad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
This what the people of Jaguair living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait we are suddenly not all that
We lost one of our own and are no longer this cool cat!
This won’t do so
We'll see and get out there
We need to be prepared for the recruitment of Jaguair
Well, as Paulo left and when it came out
It wasn't the teams fault it just didn’t work out
We weren’t ready to recruit yet
He just got here
He sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared***
We posted for a teammate and when they came near
These apps be lookin fresh we could race in top gear
If anything you would say that this chance was rare
Won’t get it? 'Nah, forget it' - 'apply, to Jaguair'
We need to rise up to the top with 10 without wait
And I yell to the rest 'Yo homes smell ya later'
To look at the standings
And return to where
We can sit on our throne as the best ever Jaguair
[***The Paulo bit is just because it fits. He didn’t just up and leave :) ]
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Greetings team recruitment forum readers! We have a vacancy for a human in Jaguar.
Some ultra-keeners already noticed this and contacted us - with Matti's seat still warm, the monsters 😢 - so we've received some great apps for the spot.
However Jaguar diversity policy dictates that we must consider slackers too so if you are a slacker whose dream team is Jaguar Racing, OR you already got rejected several times by your dream team and Jaguar is an acceptable alternative, or you don't yet have a dream team but would like to dream one up really fast and it turns out to be Jaguar (really? mine too!), then please be advised you should now tell any one of us why you'd be a great fit for Jaguar and why Jaguar would be a great fit for your GPRO life, along with anything else you'd like to add, and you should do it kinda promptly because the keeners are waiting.
If you already sent us an app, congrats, be smug. You're now under the experienced care of the Jaguar Patience Testing Programme coordinators. Ignore the marshmallows on the table, one of us will be in touch.
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