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Topik: The Joke Thread |
4089 balasan
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Q: Why did the baker have brown hands?
A: Because he kneaded a poo :)
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Quote ( Chris Williams @ March 20th 2008,14:50:20 )
Q: Why did the baker have brown hands?
A: Because he kneaded a poo :)
No Chris :P
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Q: What's black and screams?
A: Stevie Wonder answering the iron :)
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Two cannibal's eating a clown. One said to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you ?"
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Quote ( Chris Williams @ March 20th 2008,14:56:20 )
Q: What's black and screams?
A: Stevie Wonder answering the iron :)
:-DDD very good
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Quote ( Armin van Hulkenburg @ March 20th 2008,13:47:07 )
A fish swims into a concrete wall, and says "Dam"
Q: What's brown and stickey.
A: A stick.
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Quote ( Patrick Murphy @ March 20th 2008,15:03:38 )
Q: What's brown and stickey.
A: A stick.
wow, i didnt think it was possible to get lamer than mine XD
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Quote ( Chris Williams @ March 20th 2008,14:56:20 )
Q: What's black and screams?
A: Stevie Wonder answering the iron :)
:) best one so far... =D
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Whats the difference between Kurt Cobain and Alex Ferguson?
Ferguson will be playing Gig(g)s this year ;)
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A Mancunian a Cockney and a Scouser walk into a bar.
The Manc has a bad eye, The Geordie has a bad ankle, and the Scouser has his arm in a sling.
The Manc goes up to the bar first and sees Jesus at the end of the bar, He goes up to him and says hello, Jesus greets him and asks him how he hurt his eye, the Manc told him and Jesus says, want me to heal that for you? The Manc of course agrees, buys Jesus a pint and walks off to tell his mates what Jesus has done for him.
The Geordie then has to get his round in for his buddies, he limps along to the bar and also notices Jesus, he goes up to Jesus ans says "Wai aye man hoo ya doin" Jesus tells him that he had been betrayed by a lad called Judas and is drowning his sorrows. But Jesus offers to heal his ankle nonetheless, and The Geordie is delighted. Buys Jesus a pint and tootles off to tell the lads.
The Scouser then swaggers up to the bar, and asks Jesus if he bought a water could Jesus turn it into wine for him as water is cheaper. Jesus declines but offers to fix the Scousers arm. The Scouser backs off and shouts "Fuck off how i couldnt get as much benefits then"
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Quote ( Jack Wemyss @ March 20th 2008,16:59:12 )
Whats the difference between Kurt Cobain and Alex Ferguson?
Ferguson will be playing Gig(g)s this year ;)
Good one! XD
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Quote ( Jack Wemyss @ March 20th 2008,16:59:12 )
Fuck off
*Phones Nigel*
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Ok so I don't know if you have head but here in the southwest United States we have been having problems with Mexicans crossing the border illegally and the population of hispanics here has sky rocketed. I have nothing against Mexicans so don't call me a racist.
Heres the joke:
a Chinese, an American, and a Mexican are all in a boat. They notice that there boat is sinking so they deside to each throw something overbord.
The Chinese man says "There is alot of rice where I come from" so he throws the rice overbord.
The Mexican man says "There is alot of beans in my country" so he throws the beans overbord.
The American man sees what the other two men have done to help and says "Well where I come from we have alot of Mexicans"
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Quote ( Nick Beuerlein @ March 20th 2008,17:32:39 )
The American man sees what the other two men have done to help and says "Well where I come from we have alot of Mexicans"
we have the same problem here in Central USA - but every country has that problem, if I remember right for the British - they have a problem with asian speaking people and having to bend over backwards so they can do the simplest things, like understand what something is (like we do in the states - Dual Language on damn food packaging.
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Quote ( Eric Sparks @ March 20th 2008,17:41:26 )
we have the same problem here in Central USA - but every country has that problem, if I remember right for the British - they have a problem with asian speaking people and having to bend over backwards so they can do the simplest things, like understand what something is (like we do in the states - Dual Language on damn food packaging.
calm down dude
heres another joke (sorry about the language):
there once was a guy named Dick, Dick thought he was so cool and that everybody liked him, but they really didn't because Dick was a dick, so one day Dick decides to be a dick to the football team, and he thought the other kids had his back but they didn't since he was a dick, so the football team beat the shit out of Dick because he was a dick
moral of the story: don't be a dick
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the last words of dodi al fayed before the car crashed ?
i dont wanna die in this f***ing car, i want to f*** Di in this car !
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Let's think something new.... :| Hmmzzz :?
Oh, I remembered some! :P
There are 3 things that you can watch all the time and don't get bored. It's - fire, water flowing and woman parking.
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Georgian man lets out his son to Moscow, to a business trip. And warns him : You better be careful with women in Moscow. Don't rush to f**k every women that you see, because you'll catch some virus, infect you wife, your wife will infect me, I'll infect your mother. And you know your mother... She'll infect all village.
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Inspector to a passanger
-Your ticker?
-My ticket
-Are you sick!?
-Are you doctor?
-Your ticket!
-My ticket
-Why do you repeat same s***, don't you know any other words!?
-I know : air-pump
-I'm INSPECTOR!!!!
-Nice to know that, and I'm plumber.
-Is everybody home?
-Wanna come in?
-Your TICKET!
-My ticket
-Are you hare!? (we call people that rides buses without tickets - hares)
-Are you wolf?
-Your TICKET!!!
-Why do you need it?
-I'll just look at it.
-So go and buy 1
-YOUR TICKET!!
-My ticket.. Oh and that's my station
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Son asks father :
-Father, who is president, government, security and nation?
Father says :
-Hm... Example. In our family I'm - President (I give orders to everyone and etc.), mom is government (goes everywhere, cleans everything and etc.), grandmother is security (sees everything, knows everything and hears everything), and you are - nation (we punch you every day and comfort you next day).
NEXT DAY
Son calls father who's working:
-Dad, dad, new president came in and now he's f****** government.. Security sleeps and nation sees everything but can't do anything!
__________________________________________________
And this one is better than all of those jokes : http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u189/animei07/niggas.gif
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19175 sorry wrong topic
yes thats the joke :P
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Lol like the last joke you wrote on here Lukas, good stuff!
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#50 dikirim Mac 20 2008, 18:47:03 (terakhir disunting Mac 20 2008, 18:49:33 oleh Mo Patel)
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Sebut
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Eric I'd just like to say I find your comments slightly on the offensive side.I was born and bred in England and I'm damn proud of it, but I speak an asian language as well as English and no-one has any problems understanding me.In fact my English is better than most of my English mates who speak cockney(London accent English).As Nick states he's not trying to offend as he's just telling a joke which I can laugh at.But your comments are not a joke.
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"It's a Chinese premiere, and he's just asked him for a menu"
"I couldn't help thinking that if my country was gripped by famine.. I'd just move.."
Classic MTW. :P
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two men walk into a bar:
you would of thought one of em would of saw it
=D
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Can't see aything funny in british humour..
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Quote ( Lukas Jonaitis @ March 20th 2008,19:16:55 )
Can't see aything funny in british humour..
You will if you live here.
Us British GPRO'ers are just crap joke-tellers.
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why did the pie cross the road?
cause it was meat 'n' veg
pfft crap joke tellers...speak for yourself
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LOL.
Just seen your alter-ego picture, thats just owned Lukas.
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Quote ( Simon Cattell @ March 20th 2008,19:19:04 )
You will if you live here.
Us British GPRO'ers are just crap joke-tellers.
I lived there for a long time :) 10++ years, but I still can't understand those "jokes"
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Give us a common Lithuanian joke then, smartypants. :)
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I gave some of them few posts ago;]
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Quote ( Lukas Jonaitis @ March 20th 2008,19:16:55 )
Can't see aything funny in british humour..
Same here...
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